Wit and Wisdom

Did you know that toothpaste works wonders on wasp stings? No, nor did I until last week. Cabbage juice sorts out bronchitis and anaemia, while a tincture made from horse radish, goose fat and turpentine is great for rheumatism. Apparently.

No, I haven't morphed into a Wise Old Crone over the last two months - Old Crone, possibly, but definitely not 'Wise'. I have been commissioned to write a book which required some research into home remedies, most of which did no more than positively encourage me to remain hale and hearty. Actually, the toothpaste proved to be a winner when Number Three stood on a sleepy, but understandably aggressive, wasp and got stung on the foot. I have not had occasion to try the cabbage juice remedy and not being decrepit enough yet, there has been no mixing up of ointments for rheumatism in my cauldron either.

The book is optimistically entitled "How To Be The Ultimate Housewife", not my choice of words I hasten to add and it caused much hilarity among various relatives of mine. I pointed out that knowing what to do and actually having the time to do it are two completely separate things. The publisher, in her wisdom, obviously felt my writing skills were convincing enough and therefore would not be requiring a visit of inspection to my house to check the practical application of my housewifely credentials. What Cheek! I am not a huge fan of dusting, I avoid ironing whenever possible and I rejoice in my speckledy brown carpets that disguise a liberal scattering of toast crumbs and require only an infrequent whizz over with the vacuum cleaner. Which is consequently, like my windowsills, a little dusty. I persuade myself that my mind is occupied with higher things (art and culture obviously, rather than cloud formation or astronomy) but the truth is, like most women, I find the whole 'housewife' thing paralysingly coma-inducing. Which is why the emphasis of the book is on saving time and sanity, about which I am eminently qualified to proselytise.

I was tickled to catch up with MotherPie and find her post Everything a Mom says. I went over to Merry Mama to read her account of a baby's asthma attack in Death, do not steal (love's life). Her emotional honesty is compelling as always. Kristin has posted a really heart-felt and thought-provoking piece in On the Dangers of Overthinking about what it means to share physical characteristics with one's children and whether the world's perception of our familial relationships changes if one is an adoptive mother and so does not share that physical tie. Slouching Mom has an amusing post about the complexities of children's social relationships which made me chuckle called The Alphas and The Betas. Veronica over at Toddled Dredge has a very useful product review about potties. Mayberry Mom tackles the perennial problem of balancing our principles with our standards when it comes to educating our children in About 978.58 miles, give or take. Happy Birthday to Jenny who has just turned 35 and made me giggle out loud in complete sympathy with her comments about Peak Performance. I'd much rather take a nap too, sadly. Mindy is talking about the gorgeous but embarrassing things your kid says in public in Now I know how I got my job and Jenn has written a great piece about Motherhood, Mentors and Mistakes which sums up exactly why I keep coming back here. It is so comforting to find you all still doing your stuff - your wit and wisdom keeps me sane.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my dodgy Housewife's Knee is playing up and I must go and prepare a draft of Juniper Berries and Quinine - otherwise known as a Gin and Tonic.